I haven't written anything to you in a while... I've been trying to avoid you. I started sleeping with someone while you were gone, and you've seen us together. I'm sure you know it's because I tried to use that as a way to get over you. It doesn't work. When I'm next to him, I wish it was you. I know lately I've been less than polite and to be honest, I'm so appalled by myself. I hate how we are. I don't know what else to do other than give up on you, move on, and try and be your friend. Maybe one day you'll tell me what you honestly want.